How do you deal with the insecurities of your life?
Published By srikant_mh on 2010-06-26 95 Views
My good friend George had warmed up cockles of his heart when he found the pretty girl in his acquaintances. She was Rita. George made up his mind on the forthright approach of courtship. The day he was on a date with his girl, he proposed her in the most unconventional fashion.
“I love you”- He said chuckling as though offering her a lump of sugar-candy- “And I want to marry you”.
The girl straightened her face-very impassive.
She uttered the words of conditional reciprocation.
“Is it”- She asked?
“But what is your total monthly income”-She asked him?
This would have almost broken the heart of any lover but George was very patient and persevering.
He invited her for another round of talk in a park. While they were seated on the cushion-like comforts of the grass and George was putting his best initiatives to convince her into the conjugal bond, she fired her very original question.
“How much do you earn every month”-She was more adamant?
Well, George made another slip-up. Anybody in his place would have added an imagination to his monthly receivables from the office just to steal the affection of his girl. But not only George told the truth but committed the mistake of exposing in his words the insecurities of his career.
Then the girl did the inevitable: she turned her back on George, never to be bonded in the conjugal glue. George failed to sell his prospective that he was honest, very caring and truly loving and if given a chance he would surely work hard to bring the moon down on earth for her. May be, he hoped that if he spoke the truth before her then her heart would melt for him like sugar in water.
Oh, dear George, please save some wretched emotions of self-pity in your heart. Else you will tumble and go forever in the gorges of self-destruction and for sure no body can help you then.
Human mind needs training to deal with the insecurities of life. There are some vital points, helpful in overcoming the anxieties of mind about the insecurities of life.
(1) Insecurities are mostly mental projections:-
There is insecurity in everything. Everyday innumerable tales are given in the electronic and print media, where one can see the larger-than-life images of insecure things in life. Mind is always focused on the things gone awry in life. No one can sit and imagine a placid scene for a while with his eyes closed because a scary one shall emerge forthwith. Similarly in the real-life situations of life, hundreds of thousands of King Damocles’ swords keep on hanging over our heads threatening to spoil whatever we have achieved so far. Mind visualizes threatening consequences of anything only based on past experiences. It is rooted mostly in the distaste of the past images stored in the subconscious mind. A man felt very insecure whenever his grown-up daughter returned late from her college. The reason is, way back he had a sister who never returned after her classes in the college, only to elope with somebody to get married. As the man’s mind stayed rooted in that sad incident, he became very doubtful whenever his daughter came back late from her college. His daughter turned defiant in the face of her father’s dictates of guardianship. At first he threatened his daughter and then resorted to beating her. While his spouse came in between them, she was also dealt in the similar way. Gradually the mental faculties of the man degraded. He was advised physical and psychological medication but without any avail. At length he expired in a massive heart attack. But the daughter turned out to be a very noble woman. She married a very well settled boy as per the wish of her mother. Father remained a doubting Thomas forever.
(2) Never learn from experiences: learn from the experimentation with truth.
“A rope in darkness would always be taken as snake by the mother of a person once bitten by the snake”-says a proverb in India. In the above example the man in the role of the father refused to go by whatever was true and natural. A daughter in her tender age is naturally prone to frolics of the youth, but not that all girls flee with their lovers to marry in stark defiance of their parents’ wishes. While somebody tries to know about some awesome truth he has to be enduring in his efforts. While you ultimately find the truth, it might be something very different you had actually thought.
(3) The world is forever changing, but you have not:
Everything in life changes from moment to moment. But the inopportune thing is you have remained confined to your own preconceived ideas mostly in the shapes of images. A woman always felt unhappy for one thing of her youth. She loved to hear the programs broadcast in the radio. She was feeling unhappy when she watched the programs in television. It was very peculiar that she loved to hear not to watch the bizarre things in the television. She missed the fact that the life-cycle of radio had already expired. Then successively transistor had come and now it is the age of chips and macro-chips. From the dislikes towards the modern methods of entertainment, she further developed one more complexity. She blamed the televised soap-operas as immoral and sulked when her children watched them. Because of such feelings of insecurity, gradually she was hated by her own children and even her contemporaries laughed in her face, while criticizing her attitude. Whatever you describe as sweet memories are nothing but images. You are tethered to those images and have adamantly stayed hostile to changes. Your stored images do not allow you to experiment with the truth. The very images bring forth in their wakes the insecurities. Insecurities are your own misfit ness to adapt to the changes in life.
(4)Accept the reality and work on it.
Once somebody finds the truth it becomes easier for him to find the reality. Insecurities once which come under the scanner of mind and get tested on the touchstone of truth expose us the realities. Once we know what the reality behind our insecure feeling is, we can definitely work on it and improve. Speaking in plain terms, everybody has his or her insecurities and while trying to build up a relationship we need not be preemptive about such ideas.
(4) A sportive attitude is the best anti-dote for your insecure feelings:-
When someone is down with his own insecure feelings about his well-being and as a result feeling very helpless and worried, he should not be advised to resort to positive thinking. Rather he should nurture a sportive behavior towards the insecure thoughts and face those with an open mind free from the clutches of past. If your insecure feeling gives you a nightmarish experience by becoming a reality, then that will also pass away like every other incident in your life, leaving behind a gem of an experience for your self realization. That experience will pave your path for further development.
HIG-1/60,BDA Colony, Kapila Prasad,